Vote with Your Mouth

While watching an old episode of Cheers the other day, I was intrigued by Diane’s* method of choosing the winners in the weekly bar tipping comp.

* For those of you not familiar with Cheers, Diane was the blonde barmaid who…oh forget it…I’m sure you can watch an episode and figure it out yourself.)

Diane’s apparently successful technique was to choose teams based on the team’s colours, or the wild flowers of the state where the team came from – pretty similar to my method for picking horses now I come to think of it.

Anyway…this got me thinking: given the current difficulties US voters appear to be having choosing a democratic candidate in the US Presidential Primaries, maybe they should be looking for an alternative way of identifying the right nominee.

I for one would suggest a simple model of selecting a candidate based on the wine either one of them drank. For example, if Hillary was a keen drinker of good hearty Barossa Valley Shiraz and Barack Obama was a tea totalling nancy boy – then vote #1 Clinton (version 2) as far as I’m concerned.

On the other hand, if it turns out that the big O likes to settle down at the end of a long hard day’s campaigning with a nicely chilled bottle of Grand Cru Chablis, while the Clintons prefer to suck on Two Buck Chuck Napa Valley Swill (no pun intended there Bill!), then the B Train is your man (go Oprah!).

Now, I’m sure that this methodology has its drawbacks (although, for the life of me I can’t think of any), but in my submission the Electoral Commission should give it a go regardless – surely they can’t do any worse, can they?

So…as The Guzzle is a democratic institution, I throw the question out to you lot. Is what I quite sensibly propose a reasonable method of choosing the next President of the United States (or Democratic candidate at least)? And…if not, what would be?

Nb* In his first year in office, President Thomas Jefferson is reported to have spent no less that $3000 of his $25,000 yearly salary on wine - I rest my case your Honour.